once upon a time ... deep in a heart well, life was bringing a need for
new directions, focus lost, a time of reflection and mourning. i had
started to see the strength of old emotions rising up after traumatic
years, observed the changes in myself, old patterns distracting,
affecting physically, and how all those unwelcome facets of life were
mirrored by my voice. what had happened to calm measures, gentle
patience, only a memory of a few years before, returning from forest...?

... the forest, so gentle, easy, in love with life ... how to heal in
this harsh environment, human city, death walking close, taking males
from my family, a void pulling me to follow, grasping human monsters,
three faces confusing, still alive, the same shape as me, tempting
sabotage, enticing self to blame, illusion of external internalisation.
forces so strong. it took my voice away ...